(no subject)
Nov. 3rd, 2004 11:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stoopbeckHmm...
So. Today I'm supposed to go to Pri-Med to figure out just what is wrong with me. The logical side of me is saying it's probably just some inner ear thing, but the rest of me is WebMD-ing various diseases faster than you can say "Wow, that's really fast." Nothing good ever, ever comes from WebMD-ing anything, because I instantly start feeling symptoms I may not even have. It's like that Star Trek Next Generation episode with Barclay, when he keeps seeing things and he starts looking up various diseases and asks the computer to name the symptoms, and as he hears them he immediately experiences them... The computer says fever, and he immediately feels his head.... the computer says tremors, and his hand starts shaking... and that's a really long and pointless anecdote, sorry guys...
I don't have a car, so I have to wait to be picked up. But I just called Mom at work, and she is apparently at Pri-Med right now, getting her chest x-rayed. So. Yeah. I guess I'm stuck.
Simply because most of my posts have been filled with self-pity, angst, and other goodies, I end this post with my favorite joke EVER.
So this guy is baking muffins. [I've told you this one, right, Sarah?] And he puts them in the oven. The oven's really, really hot. So one muffin turns to the other muffin, and says, "Man, it's really hot in here." And the other muffin says, "OHMYGOD A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Ha... it always gets me. Now I feel better. I guess muffins really ARE the cure for all ills.
So. Today I'm supposed to go to Pri-Med to figure out just what is wrong with me. The logical side of me is saying it's probably just some inner ear thing, but the rest of me is WebMD-ing various diseases faster than you can say "Wow, that's really fast." Nothing good ever, ever comes from WebMD-ing anything, because I instantly start feeling symptoms I may not even have. It's like that Star Trek Next Generation episode with Barclay, when he keeps seeing things and he starts looking up various diseases and asks the computer to name the symptoms, and as he hears them he immediately experiences them... The computer says fever, and he immediately feels his head.... the computer says tremors, and his hand starts shaking... and that's a really long and pointless anecdote, sorry guys...
I don't have a car, so I have to wait to be picked up. But I just called Mom at work, and she is apparently at Pri-Med right now, getting her chest x-rayed. So. Yeah. I guess I'm stuck.
Simply because most of my posts have been filled with self-pity, angst, and other goodies, I end this post with my favorite joke EVER.
So this guy is baking muffins. [I've told you this one, right, Sarah?] And he puts them in the oven. The oven's really, really hot. So one muffin turns to the other muffin, and says, "Man, it's really hot in here." And the other muffin says, "OHMYGOD A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Ha... it always gets me. Now I feel better. I guess muffins really ARE the cure for all ills.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-03 11:40 am (UTC)Oh, and if you need a muffin cure, I could share my last muffin with you. Or you can just giggle at all of my muffin icons...
no subject
Date: 2004-11-03 11:59 am (UTC)Typhoid?
Date: 2004-11-03 08:20 pm (UTC)Doctor: Do you have any symptoms?
Alex: Well, I've been feeling quite misanthropic lately.
Doctor: Hmm, how often?
Alex: Just about every day.
Doctor: This could be serious. You could have a severe case of Acute Cumulative Hatred of Everyone, or ACHE for short.
Alex: You know, I have been unable to tolerate people! Thanks Doc! Now that I know what my disorder is, I can take steps to fix it.
Doctor: Oh no, there is no cure for ACHE. Once you realize how stupid people control absolutely everything, it will slowly drive you mad for the remainder of your life.
Alex: Oh. ::contemplates:: Well, then I guess I'll go crazy like a fox and murder lots of people.
Doctor: ::musing aloud:: Verb? I've heard of those...
Alex: ::stabs doctor::
Sorry for that. I had to relieve some tension vicariously through you. Carry on.
Re: Typhoid?
Date: 2004-11-04 06:02 am (UTC)Hmm, who will be next on my killing rampage? I guess I should be glad I don't have any English classes today...