See Episode 3-- Check!
May. 20th, 2005 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stoopbeckAnother thing I can cross off on my list of lifetime achievements, I guess.
Meh.
Yoda was cool. Evil!Annie was cool. The Vader Suit was OMGSOCOOL. Fight sequences, totally wicked awesome. Seeing the Millenium Falcon in a blink-and-you-miss-it scene was enough to make me squee and geek out. Hearing Vader "NOOOOOO," also awesome. Obi-Wan rocked my socks. Oh, God, the look on his face when he saw Anakin killing younglings... That scene with the pretty music while Jedi were slaughtered by their clone compadres? I came THIS CLOSE to crying. Shut up. Also cool, I suddenly realized why people hate droids in the future while watching this movie and had a total fangeek moment over that. Yeah, I'm slow. Shut up.
However.
That hardly managed to make up for a dismal plot, insanely wooden acting from people who [I've found] really do know better, and gaping plot holes the size of Alderaan.
Padme died. Okay. So... that was wishful thinking on Leia's part when she told Luke she could remember her mother? What?
That one scene in the beginning? When the ship is rocketing towards [I assume] Coruscant? And everyone's falling down and such because the ship is rocketing towards Coruscant? And the elevator shaft turns into a floor? Because... they're rocketing towards Coruscant? Made my brain hurt. Do they not have some form of artificial gravity? Because if not, then... what keeps them on the ground in space? And if the gravity had somehow turned off from battle damage, what kept them from being smished by the G's as they rocketed? Gah. Also, I must have been watching much too much Firefly recently. In that beginning battle scene, when the vulture droid thingies were chattering to each other in space? I wanted to shout "There is no SOUND! In a VACUUM! GAH!" But I guess pesky things like physics and the way things work don't matter in SPACE.
Also. Do they not have doctors in the future? That droid doctor looked pretty competant. I'm sure he would have been able to help Padme out had she had any troubles during birth. Also. We've heard [at least, in the many Star Wars books I've read] about Jedi healing powers. Couldn't Annie just have... gah, head hurts. Do they not scan the expecting mother for potential problems sometime before birth? Obi and Yoda were all surprised by twins. Could the Jedi not sense two lives within her?
Speaking of Jedi. YOU IDIOTS. YOU TOTAL IDIOTS. So, those all-knowing powers you got? Not worth DIDDLY if the ordinary people surrounding you can just off you without you suspecting. Yeah, betrayal came quickly upon you. But... you're JEDI. You can sense changes in the Force. And yes, Sith cloud judgement blah blah blah, but... come ON. I've seen you fight armies of battle droids, who [one would think] would be extremely accurate shots, and only lose mebbe a few guys. But, when faced with a bunch of people you had been working with for extended periods of time, people who [one would think] would have noticable emotions and such and with such would clearly give off signals of betrayal to well-trained Jedi, you fall like a gazillion anvils. So. Lame.
That one Jedi? The Twi'lek woman? She didn't even draw her lightsaber. She turned, in shock, and was gunned down. IDIOT. That's why they TRAIN you. In the JEDI TEMPLE, which, by the way, lovely job of guarding, guys. So you suspect the Evil Emper-- I mean, Chancellor has bad intentions? And... you leave the Temple open where just about anyone can storm in. GAH. You DESERVED to be slaughtered where you stood. Doom on you, guys.
Speaking of doomed Jedi. So. This is kind of a rant about the previous movie as well. Jedi can't love? Are they not allowed to reproduce, or are they just not allowed to reproduce with attachment? Because... Luke and Leia were pretty strong in the force. Because their daddy was pretty strong in it as well. If you take all the people who have a certain ability and then not allow them to pass on that ability to their offspring, wouldn't you eventually run out of them? Jedi, I mean. Or is the midichlorian thing random? Is it just random statistical clustering that Vader happened to have a son with MegaSuperForce powers? So. Confused.
And also. I don't even know if I can talk about this coherently. That whole creepeh thing with the Emperor's face? What... was that? Dad said it was his powers being turned back on him by Mace's blade. Right. Okay. Sure. I don't see it. Was I just not looking in the right place? Also. Do they not have plastic surgeons in space? Sure, they can replace your arms and legs with robotic parts, but... fix your face? Naaah. Maybe Palpatine thought he looked cool all melty like that.
Also. As cooooool as it was to see Vader getting put back together into The Suit, it.... looked lame. Yeah, stone me. I'm a bad fan. But... General Grevious looked kinda cool, and wasn't he a living being with cybernetic arms and stuff? Wasn't that what we were supposed to infer with the proto-Vaderesqe cape and breathing issues [A coughing droid? Please.] and the real eyes under the mask, and the [ew] charred flesh in the center of the droid after it was killed by Obi? So confused.
Also, and this had bothered me about the original series and I had hoped it would be satisfactorily answered here: WHY oh WHY did Yoda and Obi think that sending Luke to live with relations on Anakin's HOMEWORLD with Anakin's LAST NAME was... hiding him? Because, dude. First thing I'd do, were I all evil and such, and had I possible children that were being hidden from me, would be to go check out my old home planet. I had thought originally that they were being all sneaky, making sure Vader knew about one kid, while keeping the other in reserve just in case, but... no. They thought they were... being sneaky... by sending him close to Anakin's hometown on his home planet to live with his half-brother in his mother's house. Yes. No wonder they won that pesky war with the Sith. Oh, wait...
It was a pretty movie. And if I watch it again, it will be for the pretty. I just think, with all the resources at their disposal, it could have been a brilliant movie. No such luck. Such is life.
Oh, by the way. Does anyone have the special edition of Return of the Jedi? Does anyone remember the last scene where Glowy!Yoda and Glowy!Obi are watching the Ewok party and Glowy!Anakin is standing next to them? My brother claims that in the special edition, OrigionalGlowy!Anakin was replaced by GlowyHayden!Anakin. I personally think this is impossible, seeing as how the SE's came out back in, what, 97 or so, but he's convinced and I'm stuck because we don't have it here. Please, someone end this arguement before it comes to bloodshed. It's already pretty close.
Meh.
Yoda was cool. Evil!Annie was cool. The Vader Suit was OMGSOCOOL. Fight sequences, totally wicked awesome. Seeing the Millenium Falcon in a blink-and-you-miss-it scene was enough to make me squee and geek out. Hearing Vader "NOOOOOO," also awesome. Obi-Wan rocked my socks. Oh, God, the look on his face when he saw Anakin killing younglings... That scene with the pretty music while Jedi were slaughtered by their clone compadres? I came THIS CLOSE to crying. Shut up. Also cool, I suddenly realized why people hate droids in the future while watching this movie and had a total fangeek moment over that. Yeah, I'm slow. Shut up.
However.
That hardly managed to make up for a dismal plot, insanely wooden acting from people who [I've found] really do know better, and gaping plot holes the size of Alderaan.
Padme died. Okay. So... that was wishful thinking on Leia's part when she told Luke she could remember her mother? What?
That one scene in the beginning? When the ship is rocketing towards [I assume] Coruscant? And everyone's falling down and such because the ship is rocketing towards Coruscant? And the elevator shaft turns into a floor? Because... they're rocketing towards Coruscant? Made my brain hurt. Do they not have some form of artificial gravity? Because if not, then... what keeps them on the ground in space? And if the gravity had somehow turned off from battle damage, what kept them from being smished by the G's as they rocketed? Gah. Also, I must have been watching much too much Firefly recently. In that beginning battle scene, when the vulture droid thingies were chattering to each other in space? I wanted to shout "There is no SOUND! In a VACUUM! GAH!" But I guess pesky things like physics and the way things work don't matter in SPACE.
Also. Do they not have doctors in the future? That droid doctor looked pretty competant. I'm sure he would have been able to help Padme out had she had any troubles during birth. Also. We've heard [at least, in the many Star Wars books I've read] about Jedi healing powers. Couldn't Annie just have... gah, head hurts. Do they not scan the expecting mother for potential problems sometime before birth? Obi and Yoda were all surprised by twins. Could the Jedi not sense two lives within her?
Speaking of Jedi. YOU IDIOTS. YOU TOTAL IDIOTS. So, those all-knowing powers you got? Not worth DIDDLY if the ordinary people surrounding you can just off you without you suspecting. Yeah, betrayal came quickly upon you. But... you're JEDI. You can sense changes in the Force. And yes, Sith cloud judgement blah blah blah, but... come ON. I've seen you fight armies of battle droids, who [one would think] would be extremely accurate shots, and only lose mebbe a few guys. But, when faced with a bunch of people you had been working with for extended periods of time, people who [one would think] would have noticable emotions and such and with such would clearly give off signals of betrayal to well-trained Jedi, you fall like a gazillion anvils. So. Lame.
That one Jedi? The Twi'lek woman? She didn't even draw her lightsaber. She turned, in shock, and was gunned down. IDIOT. That's why they TRAIN you. In the JEDI TEMPLE, which, by the way, lovely job of guarding, guys. So you suspect the Evil Emper-- I mean, Chancellor has bad intentions? And... you leave the Temple open where just about anyone can storm in. GAH. You DESERVED to be slaughtered where you stood. Doom on you, guys.
Speaking of doomed Jedi. So. This is kind of a rant about the previous movie as well. Jedi can't love? Are they not allowed to reproduce, or are they just not allowed to reproduce with attachment? Because... Luke and Leia were pretty strong in the force. Because their daddy was pretty strong in it as well. If you take all the people who have a certain ability and then not allow them to pass on that ability to their offspring, wouldn't you eventually run out of them? Jedi, I mean. Or is the midichlorian thing random? Is it just random statistical clustering that Vader happened to have a son with MegaSuperForce powers? So. Confused.
And also. I don't even know if I can talk about this coherently. That whole creepeh thing with the Emperor's face? What... was that? Dad said it was his powers being turned back on him by Mace's blade. Right. Okay. Sure. I don't see it. Was I just not looking in the right place? Also. Do they not have plastic surgeons in space? Sure, they can replace your arms and legs with robotic parts, but... fix your face? Naaah. Maybe Palpatine thought he looked cool all melty like that.
Also. As cooooool as it was to see Vader getting put back together into The Suit, it.... looked lame. Yeah, stone me. I'm a bad fan. But... General Grevious looked kinda cool, and wasn't he a living being with cybernetic arms and stuff? Wasn't that what we were supposed to infer with the proto-Vaderesqe cape and breathing issues [A coughing droid? Please.] and the real eyes under the mask, and the [ew] charred flesh in the center of the droid after it was killed by Obi? So confused.
Also, and this had bothered me about the original series and I had hoped it would be satisfactorily answered here: WHY oh WHY did Yoda and Obi think that sending Luke to live with relations on Anakin's HOMEWORLD with Anakin's LAST NAME was... hiding him? Because, dude. First thing I'd do, were I all evil and such, and had I possible children that were being hidden from me, would be to go check out my old home planet. I had thought originally that they were being all sneaky, making sure Vader knew about one kid, while keeping the other in reserve just in case, but... no. They thought they were... being sneaky... by sending him close to Anakin's hometown on his home planet to live with his half-brother in his mother's house. Yes. No wonder they won that pesky war with the Sith. Oh, wait...
It was a pretty movie. And if I watch it again, it will be for the pretty. I just think, with all the resources at their disposal, it could have been a brilliant movie. No such luck. Such is life.
Oh, by the way. Does anyone have the special edition of Return of the Jedi? Does anyone remember the last scene where Glowy!Yoda and Glowy!Obi are watching the Ewok party and Glowy!Anakin is standing next to them? My brother claims that in the special edition, OrigionalGlowy!Anakin was replaced by GlowyHayden!Anakin. I personally think this is impossible, seeing as how the SE's came out back in, what, 97 or so, but he's convinced and I'm stuck because we don't have it here. Please, someone end this arguement before it comes to bloodshed. It's already pretty close.
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Date: 2005-05-24 05:51 am (UTC)