Why I Never Get Anything Done But Am Always Amused--A Battle of Epic Proportions

[stoopbeck]

Here’s how it started…

Robyn: aww, she's rhyming...isn't that cute!
Me: *glare*
Robyn: i know, spear me
Me: *spears*
Robyn: *impales you on your own javelin*

Robyn: *feeds you to crocodile*
Robyn: *skinned*
Me: *narrowly escapes, snatches skin back, and sets you on FIRE!*
Robyn: *gives you a giant bear hug while on fire*
Robyn: heh heh
Me: aww, HUGS!
Robyn: *smug look*
Robyn: but burning hugs of an inferno?
Me: *pours ants in your burning hair while hugging you*
Robyn: *ahh, hormigas*

Robyn: *constructs a lightweight homing device; finds lair; destroys it*
Robyn: with you inside!
Me: *runs to emergency backup lair, hides in robyn proof room*
Robyn: hee
Me: *uses a remote robyn seeker that targets you and DESTROYS YOU*
Robyn: emergency backup lair...ha
Me: hee
Me: yeah
Robyn: but..you've already been destroyed...
Robyn: there can be no counter-destroy

Robyn: *forces you to wear hideous pink crochet sweater and be called "silly billy"*
Robyn: *mortification ensues*
Me: *forces you to wear barney suit and go to children's party*
Me: *you are crushed by children*
Robyn: *eats children; uses their bodies as shields against other children*

Robyn: *dumps bucket of blood on you while you are being crowned homecoming queen*
Robyn: *uses child's body as shield from paint; throws child at you*
Me: *is really a vampire, doesn't mind blood and eats child*
Robyn: *eyes widen like saucers*
Me: *glides at you, fangs bared*
Me: raaa!
Robyn: *stabs you with wooden stake*
Robyn: *turns blood into silver, alchemist style; thwarts you*
Me: *is wearing super anti stake protector*
Me: *turns your blood to steel, sets up ginormous electromagnetic knife, turns it on*
Me: *skewers you*

Robyn: *uses reely bad grammer to infuryate u*
Me: *is infuriated*
Robyn: *laffs*
Me: *skoffs*
Robyn: *says 'they're" instead of their*
Me: *clutches head in pain*

Robyn: how long have we been killing each other?
Me: hmm...
Me: for quite some time
Me: all eternity, apparently
Robyn: two immortals, locked in battle

Robyn: i study now
Robyn: nice doing battle with you
Me: do so.
Me: we must do this again sometime.
Robyn: but not soon
Me: no.

Comments

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

*sucks mello yellow into bloodstream directly from skin*

*eats hormigas... mmm, protein!*

*thanks you for sending such a lovely treat*

what ho, a foe!

[espritdeterre.livejournal.com]

*Sends in angry anteater who was promised the spoils of the battle and is mad because you ate all of his lovely hormigas*

*anteater claws open your stomach; drinks mello yellow and eats hormigas*

Re: what ho, a foe!

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

*grabs anteater, uses it as emergency backup stomach*

*puts a blue light special sign on you*

*you are trampled to death in the ensuing shopping rush*