How to kill your children

*phone rings, Alex dashes to catch it just in time*

Mom: Hey!

Alex: Hey.

Mom: Um. Did you take the TV with you?

Alex: What?

Mom: The TV. Did you take it with you?

Alex: What?

Mom: The big one. Um, it's not here.

Alex: Wait, what? No, I'm pretty sure it was there. I didn't take it.

Mom: Um. Are you sure?

Alex: ...

Mom: Because, uh, we got back, and you'd left the front door open, and, uh, there's stuff gone, and the TV's definitely gone.

Alex: *has coronary*

Mom: April Fools! Except you left the door open when you left. Don't do that again.