(no subject)

So.

Yet another night where I could have sworn I slept well last night, and yet, here I am, tired out of my mind once more. And when I'm tired, things are always blacker. I know that. I just have to keep telling myself all the good things I've accomplished lately. I'm starting to write again, I'm drawing again and I've improved--always a good thing, I'm no longer breaking my back under an impossible major, I've got people to talk to, I've got food, shelter, and air... but it's hard to stay positive. Anyway. Enough.

So, drawing. If I ever get my dad's scanner working again, I'll try to post some of my stuff... it's not incredibly good, but it's certainly better than anything I did last year... Unfortunately, drawing more has apparently resurrected my need to doodle during class. Not such a good thing when you sit near the front. Especially if you feel drawn to charicaturize your professor.

Also Dad's been giving me a few lessons, and he even gave me a nifty shading tool and a pencil for backgrounds. Yay!

Writing. I had an awesome idea for a poem, well... several, in fact, it's just hard to sit down and work it out. If I'm going to be sitting down at my desk, I'm going to want to be escaping or studying. And it's a whole lot easier to escape through TWoP or reading other people's journals or spoilers online than it is to take out my pen and pencil and think of what I want to say.

And I realized that, this time last semester, things were so much darker than they are now. How wrong is it that I came to this school partially because of its computer program, and now I hate computing? If I never program again it will be too soon. And yet, once upon a time, I loved it. I remember it distinctly. How many more times will the things I love be killed by those around me?

And now this has turned into a sleep deprivation-caused rant. So sorry. On that note, I must pack to go home this weekend...