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[personal profile] stoopbeck
Wow. You know, I realise that the self-checkout aisles in Wal-Mart are "there for our convenience" and all, but really-- they almost cause [well, no, not almost. They DO cause] more trouble than they're worth.

Take today. Laura, Sarah, Robyn and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few items-- shower curtains, posters... that sort of thing. While we mosey around the most happening place for college students today, we also picked up a few movies. Sarah picked up a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle folder. We make our way towards the checkout quickly, because you know we can't wait to get back to the wonderful food in the DH. Unfortunately, the shortest lines are at the self-checkout aisles. So we get in one and wait. And wait. And... that's right, wait. And then Laura finally got to scanning her stuff in. But wait! The ever-vigilant scanner had registered the fact that she was trying to buy an R-rated movie! Never one to leave people waiting, the person attending the registers sped over to help us. No, wait... she stood staring at us for five minutes until she had no choice but to help us. So she carded Laura, swiped her little swipey card to clear the purchase, and left. Then I got my items-- cutesy duck-butterfly-frog-someothertypeofcutecartoonanimal shower curtains for the cluster. No problem. Rang up perfectly fine.

So then Robyn. The register freaks out at her meds. The register person zipped over, if by "zip" you happen to mean "mosey over slower than molasses in January."

Then--and this is the good part, so pay attention-- it came time for Sarah to check out. The Ninja Turtles folder? Drove the machine wild. "Cashier assistance required-- id needed." Ummm... for a NINJA TURTLES FOLDER????

I thought we were going to be killed by the people waiting in line behind us... I'm just glad I chose a G-rated shower curtain.

Date: 2004-09-02 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoopbeck.livejournal.com
Ha! Thanks... It's nice to know that someone at least thinks I'm funny! Six Flags... That was the most fun I've had in a while! And I think "Dorks Obsessed with Wal-Mart" would make an awesome band name....

Date: 2004-09-02 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] espritdeterre.livejournal.com
Dorks obssessed with Wal-Mart is good, but I like...drumroll please...


DOWN WITH THE MACHINE!

DWTM being my parting words to the moseying checkout "helper" lady at Wal-Mart. Stupid self-checkout couldn't be any less helpful if they had someone stabbing you while you were trying to do it. **Alarm sounding** "Please place the unscanned item back on the table you thieving teenagers! ID required for your perverted movie purchase. Clearance required to purchase over-the-counter drugs. No TMNT folder for you, you pedophilic psycho. Put the folder down and back slowly towards the exit with your arms above your head." And other such nonsense...

Date: 2004-09-02 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoopbeck.livejournal.com
HA! That is hilarious! And now I want a t-shirt of DOWN WITH THE MACHINE...

tee shirt

Date: 2004-09-02 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] espritdeterre.livejournal.com
We should make those tee shirts and pretend to be a club affiliated with the campus. We could get money from SGA and vandalize the self-checkouts at Wal-Mart as our service to humanity. Mankind would thank us. Let's do it.

Rebels

Date: 2004-09-02 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] espritdeterre.livejournal.com
DOWN WITH THE MACHINE!

Writing it in all caps makes it sound so angry.

Re: Rebels

Date: 2004-09-02 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoopbeck.livejournal.com
DOWN WITH THE MACHINE! Okay, we are so doing it now. And I know exactly which self-checkout to start with...

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