Home sweet home.

[In a shmancy sushi/steak restaraunt]
Fancy Chef: *lights his FINGER ON FIRE, sets fire to an onion "volcano," and is generally amazing]
Alex and Dad: OOOOO FIRE

[later}
Random Baby across the grill/table from us: WAAAAAH
Dad: *mimes shoving* Oops! Waaa--*sizzle*
Alex: HAHAHA ROASTED BABY! BABY ON FIRE!
Dad: *giggle-snort*
Mom and other people around us: *edge away nervously*