This journal entry comes in four parts.

[stoopbeck]

Part the First: I Broke My Brother's Brain

[After a long conversation with my brother over whether or not Christopher Eccleston was bald, which had to be settled by referencing my poster, my Ninth Doctor action figure, and my brother's own hairline, Danny tried to steal my Nine doll so that he could have it do something obscene to my Action!Peeps, because he is thirteen. I did the only thing I could; I shoved the doll into my shirt to keep it safe.]

Danny: YOU'VE GOT CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON IN YOUR SHIRT.

Alex: *looking into shirt* In my boobies, to be precise.

Danny: Oo-ooo-ooh, you'd like to have Christopher Eccleston in your shirt...

Alex: Well, I wouldn't mind...

Danny: *FREAKS OUT LIKE WHOA*

He had to collapse on my bed with his hands clasped firmly over his eyes and rock there for a while. His own fault, really.




Part the Second: Health-Related Stuff

So. After a comparatively short wait at Pri-Med (under two hours, SCORE) the doctor came in, looked at my eye, froze, looked at my eye again, looked at the attending nurse, looked at my eye again (and by this time, my heart was pounding), and he said, "You have a benign growth in your eye, a pterygium, and it's going to require surgery," and I almost passed out a little, and then I calmly informed him that I had had a similar eye issue a few years earlier and the doctor had given me eyedrops and it went away (well, it was more like "Ihadsomethinglikethisbeforebuthegavemeeyedropsanditwasgone,totallygoneomg,nosurgerysurgerybad") and he amended it to "Take these eyedrops twice daily; if it's still there a week from now, you need surgery."

FUN TIMES.

Cult of Awesome Like Burning, I think I need to sacrifice a pineapple. Yes? No?



Part the Third: Why I Hate the Pharmacy Guy in Prattville

No, Prattville Pharmacy Guy, I don't have health insurance. Believe it or not, Prattville Pharmacy Guy, I know that my not having insurance is going to make my eye-saving medicine cost more. Giving me a snooty look and sneering at me and basically belittling my intelligence in front of my mother and the people around me isn't going to magically give me health insurance. If it were possible for me to have health insurance, I'm pretty sure I would be all over that. Please to be keeping your snooty sneering to yourself, thanks kindly.



Part the Fourth: Why I Am No Longer Not Not Drinking Coke, Or, Why I Fell Off The Wagon

So, remember how like a week ago I said that thing? That thing where I was not going to drink Coke for two weeks, to see if the caffeine and sugar was the reason I can't sleep at night etc? That thing?

I've been very good, Coke-wise. I had several nervous breakdowns on Friday, and my usual way to settle my nerves and get my panic-attack-depleted blood sugar back up is to have a Coke. I didn't have a Coke, even though I really really wanted one.

Saturday and Sunday I had a horrible stomach thing. Most medicines that combat stomach upsets make me vomit, so my usual cure is to have a Coke, which settles my stomach nicely (after all, that was one of Coca-Cola's original purposes). I didn't have a Coke.

Yesterday I had an asthma attack. Which is pretty common for this time of year, but like an idiot I didn't have my inhaler with me, so it took a little bit for me to get evened out. Coke can sometimes stop asthma attacks (so can black coffee with lots and lots of sugar, but black coffee is ick (ETA: so I've been informed that black coffee is no longer black coffee when sugar has been added, let the record show that I stand corrected in the matter of black coffee vs milkless coffee with lots of sugar added)). I didn't have a Coke.

Today I had to go to the doctor and get told that I might need surgery in a week, surgery that I really can't pay for. At all. I went home and bloody well had a Coke, and it was fantastic.

Now, I have learned some things from my admittedly-brief detox period. I do drink too much Coke; I should definitely drink it in moderation. But it also has its benefits, like the asthma thing and the stomachache thing, so I think I'm going to continue drinking it. Sorry I fail at Coke Prohibition!

Comments

[scifigirl.livejournal.com]

PART THE FIRST: AWESOME LIKE BURNING

PART THE SECOND: Sacrifice the pineapple. Save your eye.

PART THE THIRD: We need to get national health care, trufax. I would like to kick the pharmacist's ass for you, can I do that?

PART THE FOURTH: You could just drink less Coke instead of no Coke. You know, moderation.

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

WOO!

GOT IT. Next time I got to the store, I'm picking up a pineapple.

UM YES. I'd be on it if it weren't so expensive. I can't afford the hundred dollars a month my student loans are charging me, what makes them think I can afford $200 a month for healthcare? PLEASE KICK HIS ASS FOR ME. THAT WOULD MAKE MY DAY.

I'm really all for moderation.

[thelasttoknow03.livejournal.com]

Well, my question is...is you get the pineapple, can you carve a piece of cheese out of it?

(I hope your eye gets better!)

(And good for you for holding out for four days. I usually can't hold out four HOURS after thinking about the crisp, wonderful goodness that is the first sip of an ice-cold Coke.)

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

OMG, I'M GOING TO TRY MY HARDEST.

(Thanks!)

(OMG, it was so hard. And it wasn't even crisp and cold because I'm no longer allowed to put Cokes in the fridge, because it sets a bad example for my brother or something like that, which is reason number 2,386 for moving out ASAP. I'm growing to tolerate the taste of room-temperature Coke, which is so so wrong.)

[thelasttoknow03.livejournal.com]

That is so wrong that there are no words. No words. At all.

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

I know, right? :[

[thelasttoknow03.livejournal.com]

It makes me want to be your Coke dealer. You know, pop a can in the freezer to make it extra cold, drive down the road, hide it in your mailbox, flash my lights three times and speed away. Or something like that...

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

Dude. And I can sneak out in my hoodie to get it, and drink it really quickly and sneak back inside only to be caught by Mom, and when she asks me where I've been, I can say, "Uh, just... checking the mail, you know, just in case," and it would be awesome.

[roadrunner1896.livejournal.com]

1. Your poor brother. THough he had it coming.

2. Ouch. Hope that goes well. And yes, sacrifice can never hurt. Well, except the one who gets sacrificed, I guess.

3. Our health care might be crap, but at least it cares for our health a tiny bit.

4. Go Coke! Or something.

[scifigirl.livejournal.com]

Cool beans, I will say a prayer to the ALB gods. *is super special*

THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY. I THINK EVERYONE NEED'S TO SEE HANK'S VIDEO ABOUT MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS. I WILL KICK HIS ASS INTO NEXT YEAR IT WILL BE A SIGHT TO SEE!

That's the best way. Unless it's actually cocaine in which case, NO COKE FOR YOU!

[surferartchick.livejournal.com]

1. ROTGLMAO! That's awesome, and yes it was his fault
2. Don't you love doctors that amend instructions according to the patent's history. "you need back surgery." "no I just need drugs." "okay". *wink*
3. WTF? Snooty pharmacy workers. That's just wrong
4. *shakeshead* Don't you think coke might be the reason you have all those problems? But I can see the delima. So Coke on!

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

AWESOME.

OMG YES.

Oh. Um. Well. Just a little bit? *puppy dog eyes*

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

1. He so did!

2. Good. Now I just need to find a sufficiently high building.

3. NOT FAIR.

4. YAY COKE OMG

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

1. He's special.

2. It's funny, because usually I only go to the doctor when I've got almost-pneumonia, so anytime I show up in PriMed, they're like... are you in for chest x-rays? Chest x-ray now? And I had to be all, "No, it's my eye, chest is fine."

3. This man has issues.

4. Well, the asthma thing I've had forever, since way before I was drinking Coke. I didn't really drink soft drinks much until I got into college. The panic attacks might have a correlation, because those started during my time in college, but they're also related to other things. The eye thing? I have no idea where that's from. Wikipedia wasn't particularly helpful there.

I mean, I'm not going to be drinking a case a day or anything. But I'm not going to eliminate Coke completely from the things I drink, either.

[roadrunner1896.livejournal.com]

You should drink a Coke while sacrificing the pineapple.

So say we all. Or well, maybe I am the only one who says it. But you still should. ;)

[thelasttoknow03.livejournal.com]

It would be.

On a totally different subject, I FINALLY used the shortbread recipe you sent. It's really very good.

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

AWESOME. Now I just need to find a new way to sacrifice the pineapple. Last year, when I was still in college, we could throw pineapples out of high buildings. Now I need to find another.

I was thinking of finding a cool recipe that requires fresh pineapple. That might work, yes?

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

Woo!

I haven't used it in a while, mostly because when I rolled the dough out on our big cutting sheet so I could cut it into cute little star shapes, I didn't realize that whoever had done the dishes hadn't really cleaned the cutting sheet, which had been used earlier to cut garlic and onions and stuff on. So my cookies tasted kind of weird.

I need to get back to making cookies.

[roadrunner1896.livejournal.com]

Pina Colada!

Okay, I am way to fixated on cocktails at the moment. I should refocus on Callum and his characters again and drop the tails.

But yeah, sounds good.

The only thing I like eating pineapple is Hawaiian toast.

I am sure as a fan of pineapple you'll know something better.
Gotta go to bed now. *snuggles*

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

PINA COLADA! AWESOME. And that would require a coconut sacrifice as well.

I need to look up some recipes...

*snugges* Sleep well!

[ewanspotter.livejournal.com]

Wait. COKE CURES asthma attacks? The more you know. *rainbow*

[stoopbeck.livejournal.com]

Hee! It can't, you know, cure it forever, but it's really great at stopping an asthma attack cold. I'm all for that, definitely.