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stoopbeckOkay, question: is it possible to have post traumatic stress about a poetry workshop? Because man, the flashbacks are killing me... That poem that I posted a few weeks ago? I had to workshop it yesterday. And by "had to" I mean "had to." As in for a grade in a class crucial to my major.
What is the point of even writing if all they're going to do is tell you how much it sucks? I had two published poets telling me, in so many words, not to give up my day job. Even the slightly random eighth grade kid in our workshop jumped on my poem. Then a fellow student started in on me. Uh, hello-- they're not paying you to "critique" my work. After a long rehash of what The Published Poets had said ["It's too abstract! [this from a man whose poems sounded like a radio with bad reception or an lj random haiku generator] So are we in a room, or aren't we? Where are you going with this? Why should we care?" You think I'm joking or exaggerating this? I'd like to say I am. I'd love to say I am. I'm not.] this... person, this student also said, "Umm... it also.. seemed to me, that you might be speaking of... depression." Oh, horrors, no! Anything but that! She said it as if shocked and dismayed that anyone could EVER consider writing anything depressing. [Uh... hello? The Wastelands? The Hollow Men? The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock? And that's all one poet, genius.] They said it needed an anchor to tie it to reality. What if the point of my poem is that there is none? Who the hell are you guys to tell me all this? How is it helpful to me as a writer to have you tell me how YOU would have written it?
And after ripping both me and my poem a new one for thirty minutes of an hour long workshop with two other people, they moved on, leaving me a shallow wreck of the person I once was. You know, I have enough trouble showing ANYTHING I do to people. I'm sure this will bolster my confidence and turn me into that great writer I know is in here somewhere. Either that, or make me turn Emily Dickenson and become a white-wearing recluse who hides her poetry in trunks until after her death. Either one.
What is the point of even writing if all they're going to do is tell you how much it sucks? I had two published poets telling me, in so many words, not to give up my day job. Even the slightly random eighth grade kid in our workshop jumped on my poem. Then a fellow student started in on me. Uh, hello-- they're not paying you to "critique" my work. After a long rehash of what The Published Poets had said ["It's too abstract! [this from a man whose poems sounded like a radio with bad reception or an lj random haiku generator] So are we in a room, or aren't we? Where are you going with this? Why should we care?" You think I'm joking or exaggerating this? I'd like to say I am. I'd love to say I am. I'm not.] this... person, this student also said, "Umm... it also.. seemed to me, that you might be speaking of... depression." Oh, horrors, no! Anything but that! She said it as if shocked and dismayed that anyone could EVER consider writing anything depressing. [Uh... hello? The Wastelands? The Hollow Men? The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock? And that's all one poet, genius.] They said it needed an anchor to tie it to reality. What if the point of my poem is that there is none? Who the hell are you guys to tell me all this? How is it helpful to me as a writer to have you tell me how YOU would have written it?
And after ripping both me and my poem a new one for thirty minutes of an hour long workshop with two other people, they moved on, leaving me a shallow wreck of the person I once was. You know, I have enough trouble showing ANYTHING I do to people. I'm sure this will bolster my confidence and turn me into that great writer I know is in here somewhere. Either that, or make me turn Emily Dickenson and become a white-wearing recluse who hides her poetry in trunks until after her death. Either one.
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Hugs for Alex
Date: 2004-11-12 02:37 pm (UTC)Your poems are good. Published Poets don't necessarily represent the authority of all things good. Whether they're published or not, I still don't "get" some of dude's work. I "got" yours, which means you are better equipped to connect to the masses than they are. Maybe it's been so long since they were anguished teenagers that they've forgotten the hopelessness of not having anything to hold on to when God picks up your world and shakes it like an Etch-a-Sketch. You know what I mean, it's not depression to accurately state the affair of things or to express what so many people feel. I can relate more to being misguided and "abstract" than I can to some dude's cat or Aunt Sonia. I hope you never get so academic and full of yourself that you rip apart young aspiring writers' works, but I don't see you doing that.
Don't take them personally. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. :D
*sniffle* Aww...
Date: 2004-11-12 05:42 pm (UTC)Aww... Thanks. I feel better now. Well, not really, but I feel like I'm on the road to better now, if that makes sense... I just hope I can get through another two and a half years of this-- this is what my major's all about, apparently... Sedentary smug professors picking apart the writings of students just to show how smart they are. Oh, well... We'll see, right? Thanks for your support... maybe I won't become a recluse after all!
Winner of the BEST ICON EVER AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 2004-11-13 12:08 am (UTC)if paul bettany can't fix misanthropy, well then, there is no cure.
:D :D :D :D
no subject
Date: 2004-11-12 09:01 pm (UTC)You are Locke. A mystery within a mystery. You're
a fountain of backgammon trivia and an expert
with knives. You might like pina coladas and
definitely like getting caught in the rain.
You prefer keeping to yourself mostly, but
you'll tell your secrets to the right person.
Are you evil? Your accompanying soundtrack
sure is sinister.
Which Lost Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Haha! Okay then?