stoopbeck

Hi, my name is Alex, and... and I have a problem. A serious problem.

Cheese.

I blame Wal-Mart's seductive "24 pack of string cheese for under three bucks" deal... but really, I suppose, I should blame myself and my obvious lack of will power.

I sit in my room, trying to do something productive [well-- mildly productive at least] and I can hear it calling me from the fridge...

"Aaaaaalleeexx.... Aaaaaaaaallllleeeexx.... Doooonn't yooooouu thiiiiinnnk iiiit's tiiiiiiimmme fooooor soooome cheeeeeeeese?"

I try to block it out, but... after a while, I break down and go to the fridge. "Fine, you happy now?" I snap at the individually wrapped packets of yummy string cheese. "Yeeeeaaaahh..." they chorus, but I know what happens next. I finish my string cheese... mmmm, cheese... and go back to whatever it was I was doing. Within five minutes, it starts up again. "Aaaaaaalleeex.... Aaaaaaalllleeeeex..."

I dash back into the kitchen. "Look! I've had enough of this, cheese! I already ate one of you! What more do you wnat me to do?!? I am making a stand, here and now-- no pack of processed dairy products is going to get the better of me!"

Said triumphant moment is ruined by the realization as I walk back into my room that I have another pack of cheese in my hand.

When will it stop? When will it stop?

Mmmm... cheese....